freckle face

I drove to Wichita for a work conference and although it was about 98* out, the drive was full of sunshine and great clouds like these. The conference was about juvenile justice and all the things wrapped up in to that category (gangs, sexual exploitation of youth, jail, and intervention programs like the one I work for). It's an under appreciated field, and there's not a lot of money in it, but the work is pure, tough, and life changing. There was a priest there that works with ex-gang members in LA and started his own Homeboy Industries (they have a cool website if you're interested) and the work he does is so intense and he left us with a great feeling of passion, and if you enjoy what you do every day (or at least most days) than that's a great thing. And the hopeless need hope.

I had spent two nights in a hotel by myself with no dogs and no books, by the end of the day I had little energy to write or read anyways. So some mindless t.v. and a few pictures documenting my state of mind. I think our connection to our body is very interesting. How some people are consumed with clothes, and hair, and whatever else. Don't get me wrong those are all nice things, but they are not who we are as people. And the things people notice about your appearance because we are a very visually driven society. Recently, someone told me I looked like Lindsay Lohan. Now at first I may have been a little offended, but then it hit me that this woman has rarely seen another person with freckles so she just equated the fact that we both have freckles. Like me and Evangeline Lily both have dark hair (someone also told me I looked like her, but we were in the process of possibly buying his house so I think it was just a good selling tactic). Believe it or not, but I sometimes forget that I have freckles. And that every year I have recieved more and more freckles, and to see a home video of me when I was eleven, I had set up the video camera on the edge of the table so I could run through the list of impressions I was learning... true story. But at the time I did not have one single freckle on my neck or chest, just emerging all over my face. It's interesting how some days I can feel so connected with my body and every move that I make, and other days I feel I live more through my mind and the idea of "living from the inside out". I want to accept my body for all that it is and all that it is not but also that feeling of just living and not getting wrapped up in those little things.