Wednesday, June 1, 2011

What the what...(some light reading)

So my full time job is kind of in limbo at the moment, our program has it's funding until September and with any luck we will get "renewed" for the next three years however that is not looking great.  One of our sister programs has already been completely cut and ends in July.  22 employees in another program were let go last week   Needless to say I am not feeling that secure at my current position, and more than anything I am focused on how we can best provide for our daughter that will join our lives in September with or without this job I have now.  Yesterday I went to a big event called "Get Motivated", the billboards advertise the many faces that may appear when they tour your city including; Colin Powell, Rudy Giuliani, Laura Bush, John Walsh, Joe Montana, Steve Forbes, and Bill Cosby (a few others but I don't feel like looking up their names as I forgot, but just think rich old white guy and you're set).  The arena was packed full of business people likely seeking a free training opportunity as myself and a few co-workers were.  The original price of these tickets was $235.  For real.  Thankfully they rethought that ridiculous idea and gave a ton of free tickets away, and apparently charged $2 bucks for the rest of them.  I think they realized it was more important to have butts in the seat rather than hold out until some goofball actually paid over two hundred dollars to go to this weird, weird event.

An old white guy started the day sharing stories of his success and different ways he has made money in the business world.  Next confetti covered the stage as Rudy Giuliani greeted us all and strategically dodged the confetti pieces from letting them cover his mouth.  His first comment was how the confetti reminded him of his dark days in New York with the endless amounts of snow and how he was blamed for the snow.  Next Laura Bush posed behind her podium as she updated us all on her family and their whereabouts. Mrs. Bush then went straight to recounting some of her memories from 9/11 and then right to the end of her husband's presidency.  She said she got frustrated by the "cowboy caricature" her husband was made out to be.  And discussed a few of the countries she was happy she had the chance to visit.  A few questions ran through my mind while she was on stage... 1. Why is she speaking at a "Get Motivated" event?  2. Why is 9/11 the only thing she felt was worth mentioning throughout her husband's 8 year run as president?  Truly between Rudy and Laura I haven't heard the words 9/11 so much.  3. Why does she say Uganda like "U-Gan (as in Can)- duh".  And finally, 4. There was no other female presenter they could find for this event?  I mean really.  She was the only woman out of the ten speakers and she wasn't even speaking on her own legacy but her husband's.
About an hour and a half later streamers fall from the sky and they start blasting the song "Livin in America" as Colin Powell takes the stage.  I felt like I was in a very cheesy and kinda creepy convention from the movie Yes Man.  Mr. Powell gave a great speech and seemed like a much more welcoming leader and representative of America compared to the first three presenters. 
After spending $9.25 on two tiny bottles of water and a decent muffin, a very weird guy came up on the stage.  He was over the top preachy and opinionated, so much so that you could tell he loved offending half the crowd.  He was a perfect mixture of Dana Carvey's the Church lady because he said "you know where those temptations come from?  .... SATAN!" (I swear he said that).  And Dane Cook because he would crawl and bounce around the stage like a dang monkey.  He even kicked off one of the mum plants to prove a point of wildness.  Also he said things like "dig this" and "this is really major"  I even heard him address us all as "homes".  Next he was a sleazy car salesman because he real goal was to have us buy a ticket to a three day opportunity to learn how to "find our purpose" and "buy property".  What if we had no desire to buy property you ask?  He didn't care.  In fact, you are an idiot if you don't want to buy property! 

It was kind of interesting seeing all of these people in person, even Mr. Cosby who looked old and fragile but still had his pudding face eye rolling charm as you'd hope.  Colin Powell had much more personality then we have ever seen on t.v. (I guess that makes sense considering his role in the U.S. government).  Did I leave with any new information or extra motivation which I am guessing was the point of the training?  No.  Did I entertain myself by observing and taking in the weirdness of it all.  Clearly.