What is your most embarrassing moment? Think of it, if you don't have one that's great, but you should probably stop reading now because you can't relate. I want to know who else has felt embarrassed For. Real. Whether it was really a big deal or not... let's say you were jumping up and down a midst a victory dance for winning a ping pong game and you happened to shatter the lights that hung above you at your friend's neighbors house! Or.... you tripped and fell on campus and you know some distant friends of yours or even a cute girl/guy saw you and the coolness was just sucked out of you instantly. You know that feeling, right? Walking along, everything is good, you even feel great, one missed step or slip up on a mystery rock and your rhythm to your walk is disrupted. You can either start to jog as Ellen Degeneres suggests and just play it off as cool as best you can. Or, you get all the 'cool' sucked out of you and your neck feels hot and stomach feels empty and you stay that way for at least a few minutes... until logic sets in and you realize it's okay and keep telling yourself 'it's not that big of a deal' over and over again.
Well today I had a very awkward moment and was embarrassed because of it. It was a situation that occurred with people I worked with but people I will most likely not have to ever see again in person. That should resolve most of the awkwardness, right? No, I still feel a little silly about it and if I think about it too long my neck could start feeling a little warm until I am snapped back into reality and realize 'it's not that big of a deal'. Regardless of what the little issue was (can you tell I am not going to tell you what it was?) the comfort I felt when I came home and told Matt about it was nice. I remember the very first white hair I found on my head. It was tiny, and I had to really be looking for it to even find it, but the truth is that it existed, it was there. And one day my boyfriend at the time found the very same white hair and he stopped, pointed, and laughed at me. Can you believe it? Not even a funny let's laugh together thing, but a plain old laugh at me. Rude as can be. It was then I realized that his own insecurities started to spew over to our relationship and that is when I started to pull away.
I came home to tell Matt my embarrassing moment and I thought about prefacing it with my usual 'can I tell you something, but you promise to not make fun of me?' Guess what? I have never had to say this for real because Matt has NEVER made fun of me even a little. He is completely open, and kind and accepting. And he has seen a few white hairs on my head and never once even cracked a smile, because he is kind, and he loves me for me, regardless of my hair color, my quirks, and whatever else happens along the way. Even the embarrassing moments we can share, and laugh together.
What even makes us feel embarrassed? The possible judgments of other people? I am pretty sure whatever embarrassing moment you have experienced yourself, just like my situation, you can hopefully find the humor in it without feeling bad about it...