so i find myself sitting in front of the t.v. watching a show i dvr'd... yes i took four seconds out of my life to tape some pretty bad shows. most of them, scratch that... all of them are "reality shows". why do i waste my time with them you ask? first of all, i think most people have spent an hour or two of their lives watching a show that they do NOT like yet you are fascinated by it and it becomes hard to change the channel, right? for instance, right now i am watching 'millionaire matchmaker' which is full of superficial money driven dating scene from l.a. gross, right? also, i tape the two hour bachelor, which god help the producer and director or whoever it is that drags that 40 minute show into two hours!! but seriously, i tape it, and fast forward almost the entire thing. for some reason i just want to see who ends up in the end, and then they will just break up, like matt always tries to inform me. do i have a small hope that they will actually 'make it' as couple? no, not really. truly i could care less... i mean i would prefer people were happy and in a healthy relationship but if they weren't meant to be then who cares?
i feel a little embarassed admitting to some of the shows i watch, and god bless matthew he would never try to rat me out regardless how much he can't even stay in the room without sighing when one of the shows is on. he was at work telling a co-worker that his wife occassionally tunes in to the bachelor and his co-worker said "what?! she watches that?! she (meaning me, i guess) is the 'cream of the crop' why does she watch that?!" so i couldn't decide if i liked being called the cream of the crop exactly just because it just made me think of corn and it was weird... but at first that's a compliment, right? then i realize ohh... but i DO watch that, so now what?
here's what... i admit to a few 'guilty pleasures' in life that i feel help keep me sane. true my husband, my family, my good friends, and nature keep me 98% sane, but for some long days full of too much reality and sometimes too much negative things... that other 2% is covered by reality shows. for you it might be chocolate, or coffee, sports, videogames, talking, whatev. i will say that unless you are hurting yourself or others i will not judge whatever you do to keep sane. because i think life is unbelievable and i am continually shocked at the beautiful things i see every other day. however there are those days that i feel a bit overwhelmed by the sadness and hate that still exists in this world, most days we just don't see it but it's there.
i hope to continue to stay positive and hopeful and i hope you do as well, because the more of us moving in a positive direction the better.
just so you know one of the 'better' reality shows that i watch... "little people, big world". it's great to see how other people live and the challenges they go through yet at the core we are all so much more similar than we are different.
It started snowing again early this morning and they say we should get a few inches. It looks pretty and makes me want to stay inside. I really don't mind the snow, however it makes me feel like Spring is really far away and that's not great... oh well, maybe we can actually get out sledding if it keeps snowing and that would make it worth it. Drive safely!
We hosted our 2nd game night in a week! Normally we host one every few months and definitely something around Christmas, but this year because of the snow and friends living further away, we decided to host two different nights to make it easier. Yes, we still have our Christmas stuff up, this is the longest ever, we just haven't made time for it and our christmas lights are just starting to thaw out on the porch so we'll finally be able to get those out. 
I thought about writing a more in depth version of the perspective I have been gaining my whole life but really just clicked more recently. It is very hard for me to wrap my brain around the awful devastation that has happened to Haiti. And it was very hard for me to sit with families today discussing the importance of the smallest most insignificant details that meant nothing and I felt like the families were too self-involved to care about anything outside of their house and that was difficult for me to take. How much patience do you expect me to have when you say you want help but you really don't? My perspective; I can only help those that truly want it, and even then sometimes I can't. Also, gratitude. gratitude. gratitude. I found myself asking, how can you not be grateful? Yes, we have all gone through some things, and some have been through far worse, but everyone is figuring it out on their own and I hope that we can continue to come together for support but also for perspective, and gratitude. Regardless, here is some art work I have done and feel like it's time for a little inspiration...
So, my Christmas gift arrived today, a new camera! It is cute, and little and takes great pictures. Matthew gave it to me in hopes that I can take a picture wherever I may be... I can't wait for our next road trip! Enjoy...
