reflection

i am trying to take advantage of the less then two weeks i have left regularly watching my nephew... i get very bored with the internet (i need to make more blogging friends because i do enjoy these) but i try to take a break from wedding planning, scheduling, phone calling, and just be.  during his naps this gives me a chance to actually sit, and write, and reflect on many things but right now i am writing my life story... some on paper, and some just in my head that i eventually hope will make it to paper, if for nothing else then to store it on my art desk in a beautifully organized mess. while doing this i have recalled many funny stories from my childhood (samples to come later i'm sure) and investigating my relationships with people.  i have found that no matter how good or bad things seem to be i feel really blessed when it comes to the people in my life and that life (my life) boils down to the quality of these relationships. and when something doesn't feel right, or my feelings get hurt, or i offend someone else i like to step back and figure out how or why that happened.  maybe i am sensitive in certain situations, but maybe some people don't take the time to think about what they say before they say it.  their comment could have nothing to do with me and all to do with their bad attitude, or confusion, or hurt.  i love going back to the four agreements (great, simple read, i recommend it) two of the four agreements are this; 1. don't take anything personally, and 2. don't make assumptions. 

it seems so simple yet so hard to practice on a regular basis.  as human beings we sometimes take things personally, we judge people, and feel judgement coming back at us, and we make assumptions about anything.

i am trying to practice these things daily.  if i get offended i question why a particular thing hurt me and more often times then not it must have something to do with me clinging to my ego and expecting things to turn out a certain way when they don't there is frustration.  but when i take a step back, breathe, and realize there is another person involved, and they must be dealing with their own list of things, i feel comforted by the fact that i don't have to waste any more brain power thinking about that situation.  i can not change anybody else, and i can only control what i do and how i react to things.

this is something i am trying to teach the girl i mentor. she is incredibly impulsive but can articulate the difference between "right and wrong" but falls short on achieving even short term goals.  these are new concepts to her and trying to practice it myself and teach her at the same time is tricky but it's an interesting process none the less. 

this is one of those posts that maybe no one is interested in, and that is okay.  i hope you are getting a chance to enjoy this weather, and reflect on your self from time to time.  also, wear sunscreen. bye. 

wedding stuff

Why hello there.  We had a very lovely weekend.  Now that I think about it the days seem to fly by but in the moment it seems like we have all the time in the world.  We had our first floral wedding consultation and it was very successful, I think we will look around at a few more places to compare pricing, but fun to start picturing the colors and who will be wearing/holding what.   Then we went to this great ring store (Matt has bought me two rings from there over the years) and they have such unique, sharp looking designs.  We found three rings that we loved for Matt.  Three! plus one at another store is still in the running.  It's exciting but I didn't know it would be so difficult finding the right one, we're going to sleep on it for a week or so and then probably make a decision after that.  Matt said he'd be open to me even surprising him and picking one out myself... a lot of pressure, but could be fun! 

Then Sunday we went out to lunch and had plans to see the new X-men; Wolverine movie but we stopped by home to let the dogs out first.  I was inside when Matt brought the dogs in and was finding some tissue to rub on Jaxon's nose because he was just bit by a snake!  It was just a gardner (sp?) snake but it was thick! and gross! and jumped up off the ground to attack our little guy.  So we decided to do some major cleaning in the back (there really wasn't much to be done but mowing, and trimming down one tree)... and that is where Matt found the snake... and something may have happened to him, I'm sorry snake lovers... I don't want to keep a snake in our backyard that has just biten our dog.  Not cool.   We have a neighbor a few houses down that has a very unkept backyard and we think that is where the snakes are coming from.. a few neighbors have mentioned spotting a snake or two.  Anyways, they are all gone, now and always. The End. 

p.s. we did end up seeing wolverine and it was pretty good.

Iowa

matty, our great driver. not speeding like i tend to do, watching for deer, and putting up with my singing with a smile on his face.
i loved everywhere we drove that day, but this picture in particular because it's rare living in the city driving through such a magnificent thing as a forest of trees.
the park we stopped in is beautiful and they had these perfect things (i don't even know what they are called) all over the place.
i've been asking mcdonald's for years for a twist cone and a few years ago they said they quit making chocolate... i just recently stopped asking. we found this cute ice cream shop and this crazy road-trip-hair freckle face is happy with a twist cone, finally.

this little guy was parked next to us at the ice cream shop... i like him.

97!

We went up to Iowa for Matts' Grandma's 97th birthday!! We drove the ten hours and saw her and the family for less than three but it was completely worth it.
My soon to be niece, Ainsley!


Ainsley got a chance to blow out the candles too.

transfixed with nature

"i'm becoming transfixed with nature and my part in it, which i believe just signifies i'm finally waking up" -ani difranco

we drove about 600 miles in 28 hours over the weekend. right through the rolling plains, wide open spaces, small towns, and beautiful farms.  it was refreshing and just what i needed.  i felt a shift towards nature and my need to feel connected with it.  i know i am a midwest girl at heart, much more land-loving, space needing, fresh air breathing person than a suburbanite.  not that one is better than the other by any means. but the land, the desire to plant things, have a garden, sit on the porch watching the sun set (feels like i'm writing a country song) feels more natural to me.  and i guess it's a slower paced life... but definitely a simpler way of living.  i know we will live that way sometime and until then i will continue to strive for a rich, meaningful life, keeping a good perspective on what really matters in life, and how i spend my time.  and although we have neighbors right next door we are lucky to have a big fenced in yard.  i can bike to the farmer's market. i can choose not to participate in certain things that i feel take away from my natural sense. (and yes i have been called a hippie before, which i don't think is all that bad). it's the time of year to be outside, breathe fresh air, be active or not, to do what feels right and be grateful for the things you have in your life, and appreciate the people that are close to you.

idio-something

i have a lot of idiosyncrasies (i think i've gotten better over the years) so here is a list having to do with that and some of it just completely random...

* i don't like when people that call wednesday "hump day"

* i think it's weird when people that always sigh out "ahghhh" when you ask how their day is

* i almost always have a song playing in my head.. to the point that it kind of drives me crazy

* i don't like drinking out of cups at restaurants without a straw

* i crack my knuckles a lot, i don't like it and sometimes it hurts.. yet i keep doing it

* i count steps when i am on them

* i hate touching change $

* i can't read in the car

* i love trying to accents or voices from shows or movies and i try to perfect them but i only do it in the privacy of my own home (poor matt has to hear it all)

* if i hear a word i haven't heard in a while (like obtuse) i will spell it in my head three times.

* when someone tells a story and it starts with "well, i called tom at 7:30.... or was it 8:30... bill! did i call tom at 7:30 or 8:30" (when all i am thinking is... who really cares, please move on to the point of the story.

* i would love to stay home all day and do short animations, but i fear at the end of the day almost no one else would find them to be funny

* when someone tells a story about first and last name people that i've never met, they know i've never met them, yet they still continue to tell me how that person just got a new cat

* i really don't like cats. my sister has one that i've grown accustom to, but secretly she still freaks me out

- off to our 2nd to last double header... hope the rain holds off. have a good night!

games

here is hayden playing some game in one room, and the rest of the boys playing another game nearby. matt's brother jason came over with his two sons on saturday night for a game night, pizza party sleep over. it was fun to see them, i tried to play a game with hayden and by the tenth time of him killing me, i quit. and i actually beat matt in our double shot basketball game twice. big accomplishment for me.