Where to start?

I've got about a dozen things on my mind that not only I would like to write about but that have also happened in the last week or so.  We just got home from our anniversary trip to Mexico with our good friends Jamee and Dale and it was a blast!!  I have a few art/writing projects going on at the same time... Thanksgiving was a good reminder on how very blessed and grateful I am for the loved ones in my life... and not 'working' was about the best break I could imagine right now... Driving home at 6 a.m. this morning going from pitch black to pure light within forty minutes through farm country was pretty awesome... and reflection, reflection, reflection.  I continue to hope to do better tomorrow than I did yesterday.  I strive to evolve even a little every single day.  I want to get even a tiny piece of enlightenment and I know that will look a bit different with each passing day. 

I went from trying to hide my nervousness for flying to complete awe once I leaned over my husband's window seat and saw this...

For the first time in my life while flying I felt real strength.  I felt a powerful energy that I could not explain.  It gave me just enough of a push to feel at ease for flying and I knew we would arrive safely.  I also knew things more powerful than me were at work and that was very intriguing.  

I could go on, but I will leave you with this.  The lyrics to a song that I find... I could say fascinating, or interesting, but really I find them relateable.  And you may not, and that is fine, I ask that you listen to the song too rather than just read the words and see if they mean anything to you.... but for now,

Society - Eddie Vedder

Oh, it's a mystery to me
We have a greed with which we have agreed
And you think you have to want more than you need
Until you have it all you won't be free

Society, you're a crazy breed
Hope you're not lonely without me...

When you want more than you have
You think you need...
And when you think more than you want
Your thoughts begin to bleed
I think I need to find a bigger place
Because when you have more than you think
You need more space

Society, you're a crazy breed
Hope you're not lonely without me...
Society, crazy indeed
Hope you're not lonely without me...

There's those thinking, more-or-less, less is more
But if less is more, how you keeping score?
Means for every point you make, your level drops
Kinda like you're starting from the top
You can't do that...

Society, you're a crazy breed
Hope you're not lonely without me...
Society, crazy indeed
Hope you're not lonely without me...

Society, have mercy on me
Hope you're not angry if I disagree...
Society, crazy indeed
Hope you're not lonely without me...

Early Thanksgiving

 We celebrated Thanksgiving early today at Matt's moms' house.  Becky recently bought some land and built the house she and her husband Dave now live in.  They have some land and a four wheeler and this thing we call a 'gator' and got to drive it around their land.  The food was good, the company was great, and it was fun to explore their land on this thing.

 We play this game called Pirate Bingo and it's basically a card game where you chose a gift from the center of the table. The gifts we all bring from home and usually they are funny, somewhat odd gifts that you would never normally get yourself.  And now we are the proud new owners of a fox hat.  Wait, I take that back, not proud, I'm not a fan of dead animal skin, having to see it, let alone having to drive home with it in the back seat of our car.  But Dave is a hunter and this is one of his creations of taking the fur and making a warm hat.  It was definitely the most unique gift of the day.

 We enjoyed a fast ride through the woods on this vehicle.  They also have a four wheeler we look forward to riding next time we visit.

 Ainsley quickly figured out the rules to pirate bingo...

 And our drive home was beautiful and of course I took a few minutes to snap as many cloud shots as I could.

 I really love these pictures.

 Yet another great weekend....

Quote of the day

During a meeting with my 15 year old male client he told me he thinks I should get paid more to listen to people complain all day.  He then said 'don't you ever work with people and think 'they are just so stupid!'  I smiled but said the appropriate response of 'Well, no I don't think any one I work with is stupid'.  When truly I have come across about 4 people I can think of out of about 100 that were truly choosing to be stupid and I know that they will never change.  I guess 4 out of 100 isn't that bad, right?  My client then rephrased the question and said 'don't you work with people that you just know won't do anything to help themselves?'  And to that I answered yes.  And those by far are the most frustrating cases, the ones who say they want help when you know they really don't, the ones that want you to only justify their behavior no matter what, the ones that are given the opportunity to do better every minute of their lives but they still choose not to. Those are the worst.

I did however have an incredible meeting this past week where I wore the hat of a marriage counselor and helped two parents make some sense of their teenager's behavior and their role in the mix and how they can make a few small changes and immediately see a positive affect at home.  It was the kind of meeting that it was obvious I was helping these people and it was wonderful that they appreciated the help.  It was the kind of family that you see how much potential they have and you get to witness their growth. And it was the kind of feeling that reminds me of why I chose to do the work that I do and the value I see in it.

Also, what gets you through a tough week?  One of many things that gets me through is good music!! I had a new cd in my car this week and it gave me the extra charge I thrived in the morning, and a great burst of energy throughout the day.  I was jamming to some Pearl Jam, Michael Jackson, Bright Eyes, and my rap for this week included OutKast and Mystical.  Oh yea.

Random thought for the day...

I was working at Panera today and it was packed but I was immersed in my work and at one point I didn't look up from my computer for a solid hour.  Then I heard a baby sitting near me and she kept saying 'beek oh book' something along those lines over and over again.  And it would have been annoying if it wasn't so darn cute.  I was pulled back into my surroundings by hearing her saying that phrase and then I started to really look at all the faces that filled the restaurant. A lot of 'business' people, some young couples, some really old people, a few kids, and people of all different races and ages and it made me think of this random thought:  Isn't weird that we were all once babies? I mean, really?  We all have our adult clothes, and language and ability to do things on our own, but once we were tiny, helpless, babies making weird noises in the corner.  It was one of those moments I felt like we were all more connected than we usually seem to be.

I fell compelled to add a Tracy Jordan (30 Rock) random statement to the end of this:  I was just thinking about how weird it is that we eat birds.

SO, that was embarassing...

What is your most embarrassing moment?  Think of it, if you don't have one that's great, but you should probably stop reading now because you can't relate.  I want to know who else has felt embarrassed For. Real.  Whether it was really a big deal or not... let's say you were jumping up and down a midst a victory dance for winning a ping pong game and you happened to shatter the lights that hung above you at your friend's neighbors house! Or.... you tripped and fell on campus and you know some distant friends of yours or even a cute girl/guy saw you and the coolness was just sucked out of you instantly.  You know that feeling, right?  Walking along, everything is good, you even feel great, one missed step or slip up on a mystery rock and your rhythm to your walk is disrupted.  You can either start to jog as Ellen Degeneres suggests and just play it off as cool as best you can.  Or, you get all the 'cool' sucked out of you and your neck feels hot and stomach feels empty and you stay that way for at least a few minutes... until logic sets in and you realize it's okay and keep telling yourself 'it's not that big of a deal' over and over again.
Well today I had a very awkward moment and was embarrassed because of it.  It was a situation that occurred with people I worked with but people I will most likely not have to ever see again in person.  That should resolve most of the awkwardness, right?  No, I still feel a little silly about it and if I think about it too long my neck could start feeling a little warm until I am snapped back into reality and realize 'it's not that big of a deal'.  Regardless of what the little issue was (can you tell I am not going to tell you what it was?) the comfort I felt when I came home and told Matt about it was nice.  I remember the very first white hair I found on my head.  It was tiny, and I had to really be looking for it to even find it, but the truth is that it existed, it was there.  And one day my boyfriend at the time found the very same white hair and he stopped, pointed, and laughed at me.  Can you believe it?  Not even a funny let's laugh together thing, but a plain old laugh at me.  Rude as can be.  It was then I realized that his own insecurities started to spew over to our relationship and that is when I started to pull away.
I came home to tell Matt my embarrassing moment and I thought about prefacing it with my usual 'can I tell you something, but you promise to not make fun of me?'  Guess what? I have never had to say this for real because Matt has NEVER made fun of me even a little.  He is completely open, and kind and accepting.  And he has seen a few white hairs on my head and never once even cracked a smile, because he is kind, and he loves me for me, regardless of my hair color, my quirks, and whatever else happens along the way. Even the embarrassing moments we can share, and laugh together. 
What even makes us feel embarrassed?  The possible judgments of other people?  I am pretty sure whatever embarrassing moment you have experienced yourself, just like my situation, you can hopefully find the humor in it without feeling bad about it...

Things I appreciate today...

1. Fall, fall weather, fall leaves, crisp air.

2. My husband and the things he says that cracks me up.  Most recent we were driving with our windows down and stopped at a stoplight and he breathed in deeply and said "fried food and fresh air, two of my favorite smells".

3. NOT being on call for work.  The joy I get in the evenings when I turn off my work cell phone. I feel relieved, and I feel freedom.  I am very grateful for my job and appreciate the fact that we happen to be very busy right now, but I love love love being at home and NOT working.

4.  Good, genuine conversations.  I gain greater connections with friends through these moments and I very much appreciate it.  Especially when so many things we all talk about all day long and how especially with co-workers it can be irritating or meaningless that is when I appreciate a good friendship and conversation even more.

5. Using a blanket. I am usually hot, and recently we have had the windows open and the fans blowing and that means the weather is perfect for cuddling up with a blanket is happening and I love it.

It really is the simple things in life that bring me joy, clearly.

Slumber party!!

We had my nephew over for his very first sleep over at our house last night.  We had such a great time!  Matt made delicious tacos, we watched Monster's Inc. and played with our dogs.  Kestan slept for 12 hours!  I think we wore him out. 

We were goofin around, Kestan had swishy pants on and I thought I should put some on too so we could dance around the living room and freak out our dogs.

Uncle Matt and K chillin. 

This little guy is so fun!! Let alone the fact that he is too freakin cute.  He is growing up and getting more independent and we LOVED having him over.  He said he had "so much fun" and I asked if he wanted to come back another night to spend the night and he said "Great!"