And so it goes...

Matt and I went to a ‘visitation’ tonight for one of the women I coach with, her dad passed away a few nights ago from a sudden heart attack, he was in relatively good shape and was only 49 years old. I heard the news from the head coach over the phone on Sunday and immediately was struck with how much pain she is probably feeling. But then thirty minutes or so after I had hung up the phone we are back to our normal Sunday. I said a prayer, I thought about her, her brother, and her mom. I felt at a loss of what to do next that could possibly help them in any way. A few days later I received the email about the visitation and quickly realized I have never been to a visitation, only funerals. I guess the point of the visitation is to give the guests the guaranteed opportunity to speak with the family at the funeral home and typically the casket is set up at the front of the room surrounded by flowers. I wonder if this gives any sort of relief for the family during the actual funeral… seeing how they have already talked to most everyone in attendance, now they can just be, whatever that may look like. Now thinking about a casket being set up and then actually seeing one is a far different story. I am a big believer in donating any parts to Science if you can, once someone passes, and then cremation. I have never believed in the Spirit so much until I had the blessing of holding my Grandma’s hand as she left this world. I knew that she was with us, and then she wasn’t, her Spirit was no longer attached to her body. And to continue to see her body without her Spirit didn’t feel right.
We walk into the funeral home, which I must say was a very beautiful cemetery, I could never imagine choosing to be there obviously, working there, or anything like that. But another beautiful Spirit was laid to rest here as well and I find it a warm place to be. We were greeted by a tall man in black, quickly escorted down the long long line of people waiting to speak to the family. We stood in line, swayed in silence, and overheard a few meaningless conversations about who banks where, what engineering firm is best, and the great fall of something called the big 12…. All good distractions from why we were really there. Throughout the guests walking in I said hello to two other coaches, a few parents and players too, we all found very little to say to one another but only today.
We all go through our own pain and hurt, this I know. But when you are in the midst of someone else’s nightmare, it silences everything else.
We make our way closer to the family and finally enter the room where a dvd is playing on a big screen, quietly showing pictures, and glimpses of this man’s life and the family he has created. His childhood, his awkward years, some great photos from college, then moving on to his wedding and his two children. Very regular, every day photos that made you think this could be almost anyone you know. This could have been your uncle, friend, co-worker, anyone. Just past this room you turn and can see the family. You see the wife you have never met but instantly empathize and just saw her once smiling face attached to the man that is now stuck ten feet behind her in a casket. And then I see the coach, my acquaintance that I’d rather just say is a friend, not because of this, but because I know we have grown closer this year than ever before and I have appreciated that connection. I see her as she shakes hands, hugs, and warmly greets the dozens of people down a line that seems to never end.
As we get closer Matt realizes I am about to lose it, and by ‘it’ I mean my tears, I am on the verge of gushing tears. Why? Because I hurt for this family and I feel like on any given day it could be any one of us and that terrifies me. So through my glossy eyes I look back at my husband and say “quick, make me laugh”. This may seem totally inappropriate to some of you, but to me, it was the perfect time to have my hilarious husband come up with something ridiculous to take my mind off my thoughts even just for a few seconds. I just wanted to make it to the parking lot until I started crying. I didn’t want to show this person who had been through hell that I was crying too. I feared that somehow I would add to her pain when all I wanted to do was to telepathically send her strength, and if I couldn’t do that for some reason then I at least wanted to act strong by not crying in front of her.
So Matt pulled out a great load of quotes from an Arrested Development episode, one of our favorite shows. And although it only last ten seconds, that relief of not crying felt like twenty minutes. I finally felt myself breath again and even though I was softly pinching my hand (to keep my mind off the pain around us, the casket, the flowers, the older women that were crying and shaking). Suddenly we were standing next to her mom, I don’t even want to pretend that I introduced myself properly and said something eloquent as she saw the tears swell up in my eyes and I looked through her very tired dry eyes as she nodded us past. Next to her was the woman I coach with and we hugged immediately, I said I was sorry, ‘sorry I tried to keep it together’, she quietly laughed and said ‘it’s okay to cry, I thought I would have stopped by now but I can’t.” She almost seemed relieved that I was tearing up and we hugged at least three more times, mostly by my forcing, if I don’t know how to help you, I am at the very least going to hug you more than twice, that’s my rule. We hurried to the exit as I had told Matt that is what I wanted to do after we spoke with the family. I didn’t know what else to do, if we stuck around there I would have cried more in front of strangers and I wasn’t sure what to do with that. I just felt like once we had ‘paid our respects’ it was better if we excused ourselves and thankfully I knew we had lovely plans waiting for us at home as my dad was planning on joining us for dinner. This thought made me feel sad (for those that can’t have those plans) and infinitely grateful for having my dad in my life and also living so closely.

What do we take from all of this? Probably a dozen things or nothing. But I hope it can look something like this; new found perspective for every single day you wake up and the sun is shining. Taking full advantage of every chance you get to spend time with your family and loved ones. Feeling grateful for everyone and everything in your life because it could always be worse. Not wasting time on the little things that don’t matter. Reminder to be more kind to yourself and those around you, because everyone is going through something. Find something in your life that brings you joy, or comfort, or love and cherish it, it may be the very same thing that helps you through the most difficult time of your life.

Memorial Day weekend

Obviously all weekends should be three days long instead of two, am I right? My husband and I had the best weekend we have had in a long time! We went running a few times, played tennis in the heat, and ate really good food. My garden is actually growing, can ya believe it?!

We made delicious chicken tacos with fresh lettace right from our front yard (tomatoes and basil too). I loved the idea of growing our own veggies and this lil' garden has been a fun start.

Matt and I also went to the Kaufman gardens and took lots of pictures of all the beautiful flowers.







We also went out to a great lunch and then spent an afternoon at a museum, it was a lovely day.


On top of all of our fun adventures, we had plenty of time to relax (watched 'young at heart' -very sweet, I reccommend you watch it), we had a house guest all weekend long...


My brother's dog Bodhi spent hours running and playing with our dogs, he is oh so tiny so we had to keep an eye on them playing but they wore each other out and had a great time.

LOVE these kinds of weekends, but they sure make it harder to go back to work.... hope you had a good weekend too!

Now what...

I am finished coaching softball for the year and it has freed up my afternoon and evenings a lot! You'd think I would be bloggin more? But instead I have been cooking more. We are shopping a little smarter and trying a few new dishes out that have so far been delicious. I have had more eggplant and mushrooms the past two weeks then I have my entire life. That will sound gross if you hate those two things, but if you don't, you know that it is actually really good. Our weekends are still filling up with plans, which is always fun but sometimes makes the days just fly by even faster then they normally do.

I sometimes think of all the funny things I could type on here, but then I think they won't turn out as funny as I'd hoped.

I do know that it has been raining all day long, and after being out all day long I definitely look forward to being cozily at home, and watching our favorite shows that all happen to be on the same night (30 rock -our most favorite, the office, community and parks and rec. just greatness). There have been some sad events that have happened to people I know recently and of course just more tragic stuff you see on the news, but after all that it makes a peaceful night of laughter even more appreciated.
It is worth it to try and be present, and kinder to yourself and the people around you.

Pizza pizza pizza!

Okay so, through an unpleasant allergy season and a visit or two to the doctor we both realized that it might be best if we avoid dairy for a while and just because we want to; change our diet to become more fresh and organic. Yes it is a little bit more expensive, but if you are smart about your purchases, it is totally worth it. I haven't missed dairy at all but Matt has and he has been craving pizza for about a week. We decided to run to our local Hy-Vee and buy honey wheat crust, pesto sauce mixed with a little tomato sauce, artichoke hearts, and goat's cheese... yes it may sound weird, but trust me, not only is it rich and delicious, but it is good for anyone who has had issues with dairy.




It turned out great!! We have another crust waiting to be baked in the fridge and I think next time we will add some sun dried tomatoes... and whatever else sounds yummy at the time. Just thought we would share.... thanks!

The time is now

We went to Iowa this weekend for my Grandma's funeral. It was a beautiful ceremony and service and I know she would have been happy with out everything turned out. It was nice seeing cousins we had not seen in a while too. My husband, brother and I enjoyed driving up together and had perfect weather the entire time. It reaffirmed the things I keep telling myself every day "stay present, live peacefully, and joyfully". Life is too short, even 91 years is too short to not live how you genuinely want to live. To be kind to yourself and those around you. To be true to yourself and make the decision to live well. Take advantage of the time you have with your loved ones. Say what you feel. Your life is worth living happily.




The night we got into town we went out to dinner and walked around downtown Des Moines. It was a great time being with her family and catching up on sweet Grandma stories.




The sun was shining all day long.



The bagpipe played 'Amazing Grace' in the sunshine.




The pink boa my Grandma wore for special occassions was laid to rest with her that day.

On second thought...

I think it would be an honor to have the President of the United States give the commencement speech at my high school graduation, and even cooler if it was Barack Obama giving the speech. The school that I coach at is one of six top schools that could get chosen to have President Obama give the commencement speech this May. I talked to a few people that are in that district and or work at that school and they made their opinions known that they did not want Obama to come to their school. Their only reason was they don't agree with him politically and "I don't like him". I quickly said, "well, I do.." and wanted to make sure everyone didn't appear to be sheeps agreeing with only those who spoke the loudest. I didn't want to keep my mouth quiet like I might in some other cases because I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable. But when they were being so over the top on their disagreeing with the possibility I had to say my opinion too.
Here's my problem, these were the same people (mixed with a lot of other people) saying if you don't support George W. Bush then you are unpatriotic, but if you don't support Obama, then you're a Republican. It seems to be very hypocritical and somewhat ignorant. Not only that, the school district is a very wealthy one, and about 95% of the kids in this area have had a very privileged life thus far. Also, 93% of the kids graduating will be going to college. Perhaps President Obama should be speaking to 1,700 kids that might appreciate the value of his message much more. The ones that truly need that inspiration and hope for tomorrow. To hear about first hand, the realistic work that it takes to achieve almost anything, the ability to have compassion for others and then do something positive about it, and the power to not rule by fear and bullying behavior no matter how much someone else wants you to.
Although, it might be nice to have him come here and let those irrational jerks shut up for a few minutes, and let him see that he does have support through this very red state. However I know some people are already wasting their time planning pickets, and boycotts and forcing their kids to swallow the same garbage they continue to believe despite reality.

At the end of the day you can believe what you want, and I will do the same. The easiest thing we can do is agree to disagree with respect and hope that those choosing to be ignorant will still gain some insight at some point in their lives. Regardless of any political party, the desire to see our communities and this country go in a positive direction should be the goal. Showing that it's important to be a good person and educate yourself rather then cling to a title that you don't quite understand. I do know one thing, it will all work out, and we've all got much more important things to worry about. Like, here's hoping the rain helps my newly planted garden grow...

Lemon out.

Garden time....

Our garden space started like this...


After a fun trip to the store with my dad, we picked out some wonderful flower plants and vegetables. A few hours later our garden is starting to look very lovely. I have been wanting to do this for a while now, and I am very excited to see what will thrive. I love the idea of being able to step outside our front door, pick a few veggies and get to eat them for dinner.











We have two new colorful flowers, basil, two types of tomatoes, squash, green peppers, and organic lettuce, carrots, cucumbers, radish and a third set of tomatoes. Love it !